So tonight I have been contemplating friendship and relationships and how people just interact with each other in general. I had a professor in college who would quote Machiavelli all the time. The one he beat into our heads: "I would rather be feared than loved, as love is a fickle thing." My is that not a lesson I have learned. I have been on both the giving and receiving end of fickle love and there is nothing that can destroy someone so very completely than loving them one day and not knowing them the next. I am going to take the time to tell a little story here. It is full of drama and twists so pay attention.
It started at my younger sister's wedding rehearsal. I was introduced to the guy that I was supposed to be walking into the wedding with. We will call him Malcom. He was a cutie. At the time, I was pretty over dating. I hadn't been doing much because I felt I was a poor judge of character and I was too wrapped in my kids to try and attempt to figure out a relationship. Heck, if I got a shower before work that was a miracle. Anyway, let's fast forward some...we had an immediate connection. He was smart, funny, sexy and charming. I mean isn't that what we are all looking for in a man. And his lips...ohh chile...but anyway. So, we do the rehearsal thing and the wedding thing, the reception thing and the entire time he is at my side. Joking, laughing, flirting and hinting. He was younger than me but meh...age is nothing but a number right? Fast forwarding~~right~~So we started hanging out a lot (no kids involved) and we had amazing chemistry and things were great. Well, his birthday was coming up. Now let's stop for a minute...what does a guy, who is turning 25, who is having amazing sex with a gorgeous older woman want for his birthday? You guessed it sex with her and another gorgeous woman. Now, I am not a prude by any stretch of the imagination and can't say I haven't been attracted to woman at times. But lets fast forward a bit more. There will be another time for the details of that story. We, three, had our encounter and she was such a wonderful woman. At least I thought so at the time. She fell in love...but I thought we were just friends. We were inseparable and yet I still never took her jokes and comments seriously. Going thru an old journal today I found that she had written poems about me. Completely blew my mind. I am going to share those hear...just because the situation became so toxic. Like that old saying goes...when you play with fire you are bound to get burned...and boy did I ever...but it was a learning and growing experience and I am all about that. And soon I will find a way to share that story with you...but for now...That's all I have to say about that. I will post the poems next...
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